Walk in love’s annointing today: be kind, joyful, peaceful, and stable. Let God love others through you.

That is the cry of my heart today.

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Here is a little video of Ethan & Ty reciting John 3:16.

Happy Birthday!

Mom, in so many ways I model my life after you. You are so beautiful. Thank you for demonstrating such love. Thank you for always being there for me; for all of your encouragement, your prayers, your blessings, your company, your wisdom, your absolute love. I couldn’t ask for a better Mom. You are more than my mom… you are my friend.

I love you.

. . .

I always think of you when I read this scripture, Mom. You have held on to God’s instructions at all cost and with all of your heart, and God’s grace covers you. You are so noble, Mom. Bless you on your special day.

Proverbs 4

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.

When I was a boy in my father’s house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,

he taught me and said,
“Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.

Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor.”

Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.

I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.

Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.

Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

For they cannot sleep till they do evil;
they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.

They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.

Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man’s whole body.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

This is a workout that my mom, my sister and I have been doing off and on for the past 8 years or so. It’s called The Body Flex. I know it looks funny (no, hilarious!) and weird, but we love the way that it makes us feel. It actually works to make your tummy flatter and your body tighter… that’s if you can get through the workout without laughing so much. I know you’re all gonna think I’m crazy, but that’s okay… I already know that I am, lol! This workout truly works, but don’t take my word for it – try it for yourselves! Click here for more info: The Body Flex Workout

For our enjoyment, someone has added some sound effects to the second video! It’s true, while doing these exercises you do let out a lot of air, lol, but it’s not THAT bad! Ha-ha-ha!

This weekend I did something out of the norm. I went swimming. Okay, let me rephrase that – I went swimming in a bathing suit. I actually let people see me in a bathing suit and I didn’t care what anyone thought. Not a big deal for some people, but it’s a huge deal for me.

Aerie thought it would be fun to take the boys swimming on Saturday. I was like, “that’s fine but I ain’t going in.” My comment didn’t surprise him because that’s what he has come to expect from me.

As the day went on I began thinking of the fun they would have. And then I realized that I’d be missing out, once again, on all of the fun & family time, and all because of my w-e-i-g-h-t; measuring myself according to what I weighed… how I thought I looked in my bathing suit. So I put my foot down and I litterally JUMPED IN! I refused to let my weight control my mood or my day! And I had the most fun time with my family!


…which brings me to another thought.

I was in the change room and I look up and this woman nearly runs me over. The thing is, she was completely NAKED!!! I am one of those women who prefer to dress and undress myself in private when I am in a public place. Maybe it was the way that I was brought up – not sure. I am always, hmmm, shocked when I see women get naked like that. It’s confusing for me. I wonder WHY? Why don’t they cover themselves? I’m actually more curious than anything. I mean, women of all shapes, sizes and races do it. Why, why, why?

If you are one of “those” women who are not discreet when they get changed in a public changeroom, I would LOVE to know why. Just why. That’s all :)

Understanding the science of why we overeat and what causes food addiction is all pretty amazing stuff. But I want to remind you today that nothing is too difficult for God. Nothing! All we have to do is ask. It’s not as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be.

Maybe you notice this as well with you, but in my life, there is always this point that I get to where I feel like I’ve lost all control in a certain area. I feel a sense of hopelessness and desperation, and this fierce anger comes over me. This anger is directed at the sin in my life – the area that I have lost control over. I realize that I am weak, that not only do I know that I can’t do it on my own, but I don’t WANT to anymore. I feel completely helpless and so exhausted.

When I reach this point I know that I am on the verge of a breakthrough – of FREEDOM. This is when I cry out and pour my heart out before the Lord. When I am at the point where I know that I cannot take one more step on my own — I turn to God, and I let him speak to me.

I’ve realized that weight is an idol to me.

When I am angry, I eat. When I am bored, I eat. When I am stressed out, I eat. When I am depressed, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. I have found a source of comfort from my food. I have this love-hate relationship with food; I love it because it tastes so good, but I hate it because it makes me bloated and fat. When my emotions are out of control, I do not go to God or read the Word – I eat because it is easier.

I feel great about myself when I fit into my clothes and I feel thin, but bad about myself when I feel fat. I am not spirit-led, my weight controls my moods and my life. I draw strength from my weight and not from God. My weight is an idol to me.

I’ve missed out on so many of God’s blessings and opportunities all because of my weight. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve stayed home from church on Sunday mornings because I think I am fat. Just recently we had a beautiful women’s banquet at our church, and I chose not to go because I felt fat.

I want to encourage all of the women who can relate to what I am saying. If we repent, God WILL heal us. He will TEACH us how to eat again. God will teach us how to eat until we are satisfied, and not until we are engorged. Every time we sit down to eat, we should thank God for our food. Food is not the enemy, and it’s not our satisfaction either. Food brings strength to our bodies. When we are worried, angry and depressed, we should worship God and draw our strength from Him – not from our food. When we are eating there is an inner voice inside each of us that tells us when we are satisfied. At that point we make our choice – do we keep eating because it tastes so, so good? Or do we put our forks down and know that we are satisfied – that we don’t need to eat anymore.

I am determined and so excited to not eat simply because food tastes good, but to eat because I’m feeding myself. I desire to eat healthy because I want to take care of myself, but I don’t want to eat healthy to lose weight. There is nothing wrong with enjoying food when you are celebrating – weddings, showers, parties. But choose to eat to celebrate… not celebrate eating.

Have you ever noticed how bananas and strawberries don’t cause cravings? You never feel guilty about eating too many apples or carrots. Why ? Because natural foods balance the body and physical cravings are caused by biochemical imbalance. Caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, salt, saturated fat, refined sugars and starches cause cravings because they imbalance the body’s chemistry.

Addictive substances cause the body to become dependent on an unnatural substance for homeostatic balance. Removing it will cause withdrawals. During a withdrawal, the addict suffers through the painful readjustment as the body cries out for the missing substance in a desperate attempt to maintain homeostasis (chemical balance). The body demands the very substance that caused the imbalance.

Eating natural foods allows the brain’s chemistry to function normally. Natural foods assist homeostasis, supplying vitamins, minerals and enzymes to assist the body in maintaining balance. In a balanced state, hunger is in relation to the body’s need for nutrition.

Eating processed foods create cravings for processed foods. When we eat chocolate, we crave more chocolate. Eating foods filled with sugar in return makes us crave sugar filled foods. Eating chips makes us crave that salt and fat. These artificial pleasures satisfy for moments, but in reality they are stealing valuable nutrition from our diets by feeding our bodies with empty calories.

In nature, foods that taste good are good for us. I was just reading something that I found really interesting. Sweetness is an indicator of calories. Saltiness is an indicator of mineral content. A bittersweet taste, like lemon, is a sign of cleansing acids and vitamins. We like foods with fats and oils because they supply calories and essential fatty acids. Natural oils and fats are high in calories and fat-soluble vitamins. Healthy food has a wholesome taste, a pleasure intended to reinforce healthy behaviour.

When coming off of a long fast, our bodies do not crave foods like refined sugars and processed foods – instead we desire to eat wholesome foods. It’s amazing, isn’t it!

Have you ever eaten a pomegranate before? Yum, they are my favourite fruit.

I have had a few e-mails of people telling me that they are also struggling with food addiction. This is really a very common thing that many women (& men) are just too embarrassed to talk about. It is difficult to talk about. In a way it’s a little humiliating confessing to any addiction. To publicly confess that something has control and power over us makes us feel weak and vulnerable. You know? But there is power in talking about our struggles. And when we feel weak, it gives God the opportunity to be strong in our lives and it also gives us the opportunity to glean from other peoples’ experiences.

I know that I am going to have complete freedom over this – I just know it. I also know that I won’t be perfect – that I will probably stumble along the way. But that is okay. My mind is being renewed and I can feel God transforming it. I don’t want to ever forget what God is doing right now.

My desire is for you to get freedom in this area as well. If you aren’t ready to talk about your struggle with food, that is okay. But for those of you who would like to share but would rather people not know who you are, there is always the option to comment anonymously.

Love,
Tracy

Phillipians 4:4 states
…Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent of praiseworthy – think about such things…and the God of peace will be with you.

If we consider the brain a computer, each of us has been inputting data and setting up programs since childhood. Every kind word, criticism, smile, and insult is data. A lot of that data was false. Through all of these years of corrupted data, we may have come to believe that we are fat, ugly, stupid, weak and useless. Those beliefs have predetermined our actions and have powerfully affected our thinking.

Although I have come a long way, the battle in my mind is still an area of struggle. But I am on my way to freedom :o) I am so aware of my thoughts now. Throughout my day I fill my imagination with uplifting and good thoughts and I try to thank God as often as I can.

Just a few days ago this thought came to me as clear as a bell, “you are worthless.” The thought came from out of nowhere. Right away I said outloud, “I AM worth something!” I am doing this with everything. Like when I feel overwhelmed while I am taking care of the daycare, I just begin to tell the children how much I love them and how I love spending my days with them, how thankful I am to be home, how happy I am. When I am eating food that I know is good for me, I see it nourishing my body and filling me with life. When I catch a reflection of myself or glance down at the spare tire around my waist, and those “fat and ugly” thoughts come in, I refuse to entertain such lies! I tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I love how God made me.

Doing this alone has been helping me tremendously and it has only been a few days. I know that God is renewing my mind. And I know that the more that I think good thoughts, the better I will feel and self-discipline with come naturally.

I can honestly say that one of my greatest desires is to feel and be super healthy. Health is a huge passion of mine. So how is it possible that I eat so badly sometimes – so opposite of what I desire. Not many people know this, but I am a food addict. It’s not an easy thing to admit, but it’s the truth. The more that I try to not think about food, the more obsessed that I become. But I’m on a journey; I am on my way to freedom and this is the beginning – right here, right now.

In the past I have abstained from chocolate, sweets, plus all the things that I shouldn’t be eating on a Candida diet, for weeks at a time. I would eat one cookie, and then relapse with a full fledged binge. No amount of sugar was safe for me. I hated myself for being so weak, but the cycle went on. I needed discipline. I have gone on numerous, lengthy juice fasts over the years. Most of the time I would fast after a lengthy binge where I had gained weight. I could not stand myself anymore, so I would fast. After my fast was over, I would eventually blow it and destroy all the benefits of the fast. Fasting had become like a drug to me – fasting was increasing my compulsiveness. I loved the freedom that I felt during a long fast, the feeling of being in total control. Victory tasted sweet, but it never lasted. Each time telling myself that this time I would practice self-control after breaking my fast.

It is my heart’s desire to eat nutritiously and to be healthy. I gradually see the scale going up yet the binge goes on. I know that these foods are harmful and killing my immune system, yet even the fact that I am jeopardizing my health, is still not enough to stop me. What compels me to raid the refrigerator when I am not even hungry? Or eat four granola bars in a row? If we honestly evaluate our decisions and actions, we will face the sobering realization that our emotions are in the driver’s seat. Feelings compel us to act. When they become uncontrollable, they are defined as compulsive, obsessive or addictive behaviour.

Here Are Some Signs of Compulsive Eating:

  • Thinking about food a lot.
  • Eating to relieve worry or stress.
  • Continuing to eat even after feeling sick from eating too much.
  • Becoming anxious while eating.
  • Daydreaming or worrying while eating.
  • Overeating.
  • Eating too fast.
  • Eating everything on the plate.
  • Feeling guilty when you eat.
  • Eating in secret.
  • Unable to eat one cookie or any treats that you really like.
  • Binging after a diet.
  • Hunger makes you feel fearful and uncomfortable.

I answered YES to every single one of these.

Tomorrow I am going to talk about our distorted thinking and our negative emotions.

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